Why support Spurs?

Top four this season? No problem.

Old fashioned, tax-evading, London gangster, manager. Silkily passing, smoothly finishing, forwards and lightning fast, creative mid-fielders.

A team capable of winning 9-1.

And a team that, in their last three games, drew with Hull, lost to Liverpool and threw away a cup tie against Leeds in the 94th minute.

It was frustrating, and pretty boring, when we always finished in the middle of the table. But this season we had genuine hope, backed up by some scintillating performances.

Hope, that is looking increasingly likely to be dashed, on the big, black, pointy rocks of reality.

Spurs are not chokers, they've just got very short attention spans.

Players, who are paid more in a week than the average fan earns in a year, sometimes just don't feel like playing.

Easy enough to understand, I mean, concentrating for 90 minutes or so, once or twice is week, is pretty taxing.

Especially when you play football all the time, you must get bored of it.

I am pretty fed up watching them at the moment that's for sure.

Sigh.

The power of advertising

Has anyone seen those stroke adverts on TV?

The ones with the fire on the victim's brain burning away their life. Starting with the droopy face and the little bit of dribble at the corner of their mouth. The voice-over describing how their intelligence, their memories, their humanity is being burned away.

The slogan says the quicker they get help 'the more of the person you save'.

The adverts are supposed to scare the crap out of you and they do. I have found myself watching my older relatives like a hawk. I see them dozing off in front of the telly and wonder...are they having a stroke right now? I think, should I ask them complicated verbal reasoning questions? Or have them tell a joke? Just to make sure.

Do you ever think you are having a stroke yourself?

I am 30 years old, skinny, eat fairly healthily and am reasonably fit. Not your typical stroke candidate. But sometimes, I'll have a slight headache or a funny feeling and I'll think...I'm having one now, what do I do?

So I'll mutter under my breath a full sentence and try to recall a happy memory from my childhood just to check my brain is still, more or less, fully functional.

I never used to do this! It's those damn adverts, they are too effective. They are turning me into a hypochondriac. Or maybe I already was and they are just fuel.

Now there's a real downward spiral. Worrying that you might be a hypochondriac. There's nothing good can come of that.

Have you ever seen those anti binge drinking adverts? No neither have I. Or a least, I can't remember them.